Two cats on one lap

"What do you mean you want to check your Facebook? Surely you can fit us both on your lap while typing on the keyboard!"

Of course, they are not happy that they are BOTH on me, because each would rather have exclusive use of my lap/ boobs. So they are giving each other dirty looks.

  Aaaand there is another one on my bed waiting for her turn.

Life isn't boring around here, not ever. 

 Those two gray bumps are my boobs.
(Ιf you enjoy my content, please consider supporting what I do. Thank you.)

Black Books

My friend J. gave me to watch the old British sitcom Black Books. It's so funny it makes my knees rubbery. There are instances I have fallen off my chair and struggle to breathe between waves of laughter so painful that my stomach hurts. I have grown a six pack because of the damn series, and it's good, I guess, because there is no other way I'd ever grow a six pack. I am far more likely to grow tusks. 

I am window shopping inks for my beloved fountain pens since I came across this amazing site on how to take proper care of my babies. The majority of my writing nowadays is done on the PC, with the exception of my diary. Still nothing can replace the feeling of a fountain pen in my hand and the steady, velvety flow of ink on paper. There is absolutely no comparison with any electronic device.

It's scary and adorable how much the inside of the Black Books bookshop reminds me of my home. There is nothing resembling normal in my life, except for the fact I have a job and a house. The rest is pretty much random heaps of objects and cats, jumbled occurrences and an insane, if adorable, mom. It's OK, I don't really mind. That's how it is and there is no reason to worry about it. Things will take care of themselves, I guess, or they won't, and I'll have to take care of them. I'll cross that bridge when I get there. In the meantime, worrying is a waste of time. I have a very difficult December looming ahead, with very long work hours and a mob ahem... customers wanting to buy Christmas gifts and pralines. The fact the majority would love to lace those same pralines with poison to get rid of their relatives is not strictly relevant. ;) 

The human race is equipped with an amazing ability to go on living even after a nuclear disaster. Look at me, window shopping ink while I still can't figure out a valid reason we are inhabiting this poor, poor planet. There are nights the owner of Black Books is an avid humanitarian compared to me. Other nights, I want to take care of everyone. But still, here I am tonight looking at inks and wondering if lilac is a good colour choice and if it will still be readable in twenty years from now. As if there's any guarantee I'll still be here in twenty years from now. Heh. Humans.

Enjoy a new song by P'haan and Calliah while you're here. They are as good as pralines, maybe better. 

(Ιf you enjoy my content, please consider supporting what I do. Thank you.)

On love

Source: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=348914941857380&set=pb.100002166317517.-2207520000.1480292734.&type=3&theater

The following dialogue is taken from the movie "Interstellar". Highly recommended.

COOPER

"You’re a scientist, Brand -"

BRAND

"I am. So listen to me when I tell you that love isn’t something we invented - it’s observable, powerful. Why shouldn’t it mean something?"

COOPER

"It means social utility - child rearing, social bonding -"

BRAND

"We love people who’ve died ... where’s the social utility in that? Maybe it means more - something we can’t understand, yet. Maybe it’s some evidence, some artifact of higher dimensions that we can’t consciously perceive. I’m drawn across the universe to someone I haven’t seen for a decade, who I know is probably dead. Love is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space. Maybe we should trust that, even if we can’t yet understand it."

Yes, but love takes effort. And it takes effort because like light, love is made of myriads of tiny particles; kindness, generosity, understanding, selflessness, care... This is the secret that allows it to transcend space and time. Every one of these characteristics is about overcoming, transcending, breaking through the barriers of everyday life, normality, expectation. Beyond gaining, beyond life itself in some cases. 

"Do not go gentle into that good night; Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

The sky is roaring tonight. So am I.

(If you enjoy my content, please consider supporting what I do. Thank you.)

After the elections

Today I wanted to write something that makes sense, but I found myself incapable of saying anything other than one syllable words like "shit", "fuck" and "fuck this shit". No, I don't want to analyse why electing the next Hitler of mankind and giving him access to nuclear codes is insane. I can't even begin to analyse why this misogynist, racist, disgusting man is a terrible blow to everything I hold sacred, to human rights and the evolution of human race. I wish I could send him and his voters to a planet in another solar system and leave them there, to let us the rest of us live in peace AWAY from them. But as I said, I won't analyse. May whatever Higher Power exists, if something exists, have mercy on us all. End of analysis. I'll drink my tea now. Soothes the nerves.

A few days ago I was on Ymittos at night, the mount near my home. It was awesome, because the cloudy sky provided plenty of illumination and I had good company. The best bits were the total absence of artificial light and the wind in the trees. The forest speaks in sounds unlike human languages, in rustlings, shakings and creakings, in the soft sound of leaf kissing leaf. Forests at night are another world; different rules, no human presence, no-one to help you except for your wits and common sense. Words can't communicate the beauty of the night outdoors, the sensation you aren't alone, the irrational certainty that tree somehow got closer since the last time you looked at it.

When I am in a forest, I speak to it and explain I mean no harm, but there are things in such places that mean you harm regardless of your intentions. Nature isn't your mother. Nature is the Queen Bitch of all bitches, and you should treat her like a tigress that can pop out claws and rip you apart any time she feels like it. God(s) know we deserve it for what we've done to the planet.

I love the night, I love the forest. But at the same time I'm smart enough to respect and fear it. In the forest of my mind, alongside wonders I host monsters, and what is inside will inevitably be met outside.

Which reminds me. A few weeks ago I was returning home on foot. It was late at night, and I chanced upon the carcass of a ginger tom-cat on the pavement. Judging by the blood in his mouth, he had been run over by a car. But someone had also burned his cheek and his fur at parts, which made me sick. I do hope that person did that to the carcass, and not before; I think that was the case. 

I picked the poor fellow up and put him in a garbage bin. I had to empty a bag of garbage and use it to pick him up, but I felt it was the right thing to do, to somehow undo the damage done to him and offer him the respect he was denied. Who would do such a thing? Why would anyone do that? And how long before that person does the same to a living cat? I don't want to consider these questions. It makes no difference, and I did my part.

We live in a very fucked up world that's light years away from making sense, let alone from perfection. That's why we have to hold onto those things and people who make us feel happy and whole, imperfect as they may be.

Take good care of yourselves and be careful.

Over and out. 

The aftermath

No such thing as perfection. But we try. And we both have stupid smiles on our faces. So I guess it can only get better. Or worse. Or not work out. But that's life. No guarantees, no safe bets. Just leaps of faith, one after the other. And that's OK.

Fallen angels and electricity bills

Last night I was doing my personal brand of research combined to divination. So there was this Archangel, whose name was Iblis, and he was also called Azazel by some, and Melek Taus by others. Some went as far as to call him Saitan. And he was made by pure flame, or by the illumination of God, or he wasn't an angelic being to begin with. And he was cast out as a scapegoat/ punished for his pride/ redeemed after crying enough to put out the fires of hell itself. And his symbols are the snake, the goat and the peacock. His element is fire. It is also said he was the leader of the angels who slept with mortal women creating thus the Nephilim; others claim he offered knowledge to man like Prometheus did, and others still that he mated with Lilith creating incubi and succubi. Confusing? Generally speaking, for every story there is another that renders it invalid or irrelevant. Usually the best way to judge is your heart. What feels right inside.

Creation myths are fun. You have the idiots that take them at face value and refuse Darwin's theories. What do you mean 'evolution'? God created Adam and Eve, duh. (Insert triple facepalm here.) You have those who analyse them in a language so obscure only others like them understand them, and they pat each other's backs for being so knowledgeable. You have conspiracy theorists, crooks who claim they are gurus, churches that cause mass suicides and so on and so forth. Literally every flavour of idiot under the sun. So choose wisely my pretty buttercups. Are you going to be the ones who take advantage of others, the ones who are being taken advantage of, or the ones standing at the side, watching chaos unfold? Your only power in this world is your choices.

And then there is Lucifer and Lilith. And there is also everyday life, divination and death. Attempts to save sick cats. Lack of money. The nagging certainty he'll be sick of me, or I'll be bored of him, and we've barely started to get to know each other. Ha ha. The mind is an amazing thing indeed. You have everything neatly stored in it, demons, angels and universes, shopping lists, stupid complexes and expectations, art, memories, anniversaries and deaths. Heavens and hells and enough tears to put out the fires of existence itself.

And then there's chocolate... When chocolate ceases to offer sweet oblivion it's time to die. :P

(If you enjoy my content, please consider supporting what I do. Thank you.)

The end of times is nigh!

 

Source: http://ekukanova.deviantart.com/art/Maglor-633283749

I am dating. It's probably a sign of the end of the world. Take cover, keep your nuclear bunker stocked, wear clean underwear and don't talk to strangers with more than two eyes. If it starts raining frogs and the such, you'll be ahead of the game. :-P

Dark manly beauty

Sometimes you come across men who are handsome, polite, sweet and generous. It is rare, but it happens. Here is one such. Enjoy.

Asdrall alternative model

Contact details:  
Facebook    Instagram   Website  email: asdrall@hotmail.it    

Asdrall alternative model

Contact details: 
Facebook    Instagram   Website  email: asdrall@hotmail.it    

Insomnia conspirators

Things that can and will keep me awake at night, usually occurring in a row, and just as I am about to fall asleep.

Outside factors:

• Crying baby
• Mosquito(es)
• Cat fight
• Dog barking
• Car alarm
• Passing drunks screaming their heads off/ singing
• Motorbikes screeching
• Loud noises due to wind
• A gig at the square close to my house
• My cats throwing down a mountain of metallic objects like pots and pans
•  Idiotic companies calling early in the morning/ SMSing in the middle of the night 
• Cat in the room scratching on the door to be let out
• Sheet wrinkle at exactly the wrong place (strategically placed for maximum discomfort)
• An exceptional book (but that kind of wakefulness is voluntary)

Factors related to me

• Coughing because of my dust allergy 
• Needing to pee (usually five times in a row)
• Foot twitching violently (for some reason I don't understand, my foot has dance aspirations, especially in the a.m.)
• Being horny
• Sudden stomachache
• Stress over having to wake up early/ run errands
• Just because 

Possible solutions that take care of all the factors, except for book reading: BOMB THE PLANET AND SLEEP FOREVER AND EVER IN PERFECT PEACE...
(If you enjoy my content, please consider supporting what I do. Thank you.)

Sleep is overrated

My insomnia symptoms have spiked again in the past few days. I can't sleep before ten in the morning. For the time being, it is fine, because I am on holiday. But soon I begin working again, and not getting any sleep at night is not going to help me.

Twice this week I could not sleep. Twice I chose to get out of bed and run some errands, hoping I would fall asleep once I was back home. It usually works.

It's interesting walking the streets very early in the morning. There are just a few people out. The sky is blue and the temperature isn't unbearable yet. Passers-by think I woke up early, while I haven't slept at all and feel like an imposter among the early birds. I'm usually giddy with self-sarcastic, surreal humour, mocking myself and the situation and having conversations with myself out loud. What can I do? I can't sleep. It has to do with who I am, how I react to energy and what I've been through. I'm usually the first to know when something is awry energy-wise. I didn't ask to be made this way and I can't undo the way I am. I'll never be 'normal'. I don't think normal really exists. So I try to squeeze some laughs in it. Nagging is useless. It will pass.

All is well in the kingdom of Nomasland. 

Over and out.
(If you enjoy my content, please consider supporting what I do. Thank you.)

Decision time (with lots of f*cks)

I have a brain like an artichoke right now, so maybe writing a blog post is not a good idea. But to hell with it. I have made up my mind about stuff. Here are my decisions.

One, I won't spend any more time thinking  about the fuckwads who have been nasty or mean to me. It's pointless and it makes me angry. Anger is something I have so much of I can open an export company, or give my surplus to those in need. So, no more thinking about those that used to be friends, lovers, penpals, whatever the fuckity fuck ever. It's over. It's dead. It belongs to the past. *middle finger raised in solemn salutation* Good riddance to bad luck.

Two, I won't spend any more time thinking about where I am supposed to be versus to where I am now. It makes me depressed and I honestly can't deal with it. Plus it is as pointless as #1. I can't do anything about it. Maybe I don't care enough, maybe I am not trying enough, maybe this reality is a rigged simulation run by a type IV Kardashev scale civilisation and no matter how much I try, it doesn't and won't respond to my efforts. In any case, no can do, and that's that.

It is indeed. But I don't have the cure for others. I can only help myself.

Three, I can't spend a second more worrying about the fate of humanity, the situation of the world, the pollution, poverty, human trafficking, war, violence against women and so on. I refuse to give more time and energy to that gigantic clusterfuck of monstrosities. I didn't create those situations and consequently I can't solve them and refuse to dwell on them. The injustice of the situation makes me sick with rage. It makes me yell at the heavens at unorthodox hours when everyone is sleeping, and takes away the joy of living. So I will put my efforts in what I can do, however pitifully small that may be, and sign petitions, and feed my stray cats and take care of my friends. The rest, no way Jose. I can't, and it is not my responsibility. 

Four, I will follow the advice of a dear friend. Stand your ground, stick to your own. I know who "my own" are. They are there for me. They may not have solutions to my problems, but they are happy to discuss books, movies, series and every day life with me. They call, they write, they make me laugh, they listen. This is more than most people have and I don't take it for granted.

Five, I will floss more often. 

There. That's it. Now, here is something pretty with burnt orange eyes. You are welcome.

Michael Tintiuc. Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/BIvlXOChVLp/ 
(If you enjoy my content, please consider supporting what I do. Thank you.)