Thursday, September 01, 2016

Insomnia conspirators

Things that can and will keep me awake at night, usually occurring in a row, and just as I am about to fall asleep.

Outside factors:
  • Crying baby
  • Mosquito(es)
  • Cat fight
  • Dog barking
  • Car alarm
  • Passing drunks screaming their heads off/ singing
  • Motorbikes screeching
  • Loud noises due to wind
  • A gig at the square close to my house
  • My cats throwing down a mountain of metallic objects like pots and pans
  •  Idiotic companies calling early in the morning/ SMSing in the middle of the night 
  • Cat in the room scratching on the door to be let out
  • Sheet wrinkle at exactly the wrong place (strategically placed for maximum discomfort)
  • An exceptional book (but that kind of wakefulness is voluntary)
Factors related to me
  • Coughing because of my dust allergy 
  • Needing to pee (usually five times in a row)
  • Foot twitching violently (for some reason I don't understand, my foot has dance aspirations, especially in the a.m.)
  • Being horny
  • Sudden stomachache
  • Stress over having to wake up early/ run errands
  • Just because 
Possible solutions that take care of all the factors, except for book reading: BOMB THE PLANET AND SLEEP FOREVER AND EVER IN PERFECT PEACE...

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