Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Words

If you really want to show someone how much you care what you have to do is keep your mouth shut and do things. Show with actions, not words. (Sometimes these actions include leaving the other alone.) Words fail. Words cost nothing. Words are such a bloody nuisance.

On a happier note (and to prove the contradictory nature of human beings) I have just finished a short story and writing it made my heart ache. Let's hope it is good.

Also, my friend A. who had been illustrating a short story of mine and recently finished it, has made a hauntingly beautiful cover for it. You can see it here. Thank you for making me feel so cherished, girl. I do hope we make more things together. Now let's pray someone will publish it...

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

And potatoes are vile

Just like tea is evil, potatoes are vile, which is a different word with the same number of letters and the same letters. Potatoes are in league with tea which is secretly in league with all the hidden terrorists of this world, i.e. President Bush. But I digress.

So, I managed to burn the inside of my mouth with one such vile potato a few days ago. It was not hard at all. Please everybody: a round of applause? Thank you. Your intelligent friend here (yep, that would be me) grabbed a potato from the baking tray and stuffed it inside her mouth. You see, when I touched it, it seemed all nice and cold on the outside, but then, as I started chewing, it revealed its sizzling hot inside. I felt like I had a shot of lava in my mouth, but like the idiot that I am, instead of spitting it out, I continued chewing. To be more graphic, I huffed, puffed, inhaled/ exhaled with my mouth wide open like a toad and making appropriate noises to indicate I was burning. One would only expect I would spit it, but noooo. I went on chewing nonetheless, my right hand fanning the inside of my mouth deliriously, my feet dancing a mysterious jig of distress. It was the potato or me. The potato did not survive but left a legacy of third degree burns in my mouth. Now I am carefully considering my next trick. Who needs a hairdryer when one can stick his or her head inside the microwave oven? I'll tell you once I've tried it.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Tea is evil!!!

Oh yes indeed it is. But let me explain why.

After the virus infection on the 1st of January, 2007, I could not drink my all time favourite beverage, of which I drink gallons and barrels on a daily basis: chocolate milk. My stomach simply wasn't up to it. So I switched to tea, Lipton Vanilla Caramel tea with an ocean of honey in. But tea is evil. With water one knows the deal: after five minutes, one has to pee. (Actually, sometimes one has to pee just by listening to water pouring, no drinking involved.) Tea on the other hand hides somewhere inside my body and makes a cowardly, all guns blazing attack. The one moment I don't need the toilet and the next I feel like Columbus's Santa Maria has materialised inside my bladder. Combine this with the fact I am working +-12 hours a day practically on the street, at a kiosk, with no toilet handy, and you'll catch my drift...