Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Chaos...

There is nothing wrong with chaos. Chaos is a natural state of things. Much more natural than the fake, strict order we strive to enforce. If we just left chaos alone to do its job, perhaps we would comprehend how open it is to new realities/actualities and how perfect in its apparent lack of order. But people fear that which they cannot control or understand.

I am pretty much a chaotic disciplinarian, if that makes sense. I fight tooth and claw to let go of control, often with comic results. Control what? Myself, my environment, others? What for? To feel safe? The only certainty is change. The only certainty is death, the transmutation of energy in its purest form, the thing you can bet your ass will happen. All the rest are possibilities, actualities waiting to be shaped. Why not ride the wave of reality and let it take you? If you let it, you might discover it unerringly takes you where your soul needed to be all along.

So many people bother with the occult because they want to satisfy their silly little mind games and power games. They gather knowledge for the sake of knowledge and learn by heart the three million names of god and the correspondences of all the planets with all the whatever, the secret names of stringless beans of another dimension. They throw in physics, math, ritualistic sacrifices, their bed sheets as garments, their period and various chemicals of dubious nature. They fuck, or they don't fuck, or yell their guts out to make their chakra vibrate. They invoke spirits, dissect frogs, bleed their eyes out over birth charts, eat nothing or their own shit or someone else's shit, imported directly from the Himalayas. OK, if that does it for you, I suppose my opinion is irrelevant, but can I ask you one persistent question? Just one? Why? Why do you go through all this trouble since you haven't done any actual work on your relationship with yourself? How can you possibly be sailing to discover the miracles of faraway lands and kill their monsters when you have your own house dirty, undiscovered and in ruins? When monsters lurk under your bed at night and you have no fucking dignity to admit to yourself you are going through all this trouble to feel powerful- and therefore safe? You can be master of the fucking universe for all I care, but PLEASE, for the love of whatever you hold sacred, admit to yourself you are as afraid now as you were when you started out on your journey. Don't admit it to me. Don't even say it out loud. Grow a fucking will and leave the spirit manipulation for later on. Learn not to take everything personally, learn to trust in yourself, stay out of other people's way and then bother with love spells. Try to grow some personality and break your idiotic patterns and then learn to grow homunculi, or inflict curses. First be human and we'll see about superhuman...

I am not saying I have accomplished all these things myself. I have not. But at least I am not feigning ignorance; I know what my problem is and don't attribute it to outside forces, curses and opponents. The only target I have and the only thing I'm working on is myself. The outside will inevitably follow.

My beast is beautiful, my beast is gorgeous. And it loves me to its last breath...

3 comments:

Ludicrous said...

POwerful music with a powerful video and a powerful text - it couldn't be more perfect - though "more perfection" doesn't mean anything - either you achieve something or you don't... But here you per-fected!

MASTER G said...

"Στην αρχη ηταν το πραμα. Μετα το ενα πραμα εφερε το αλλο..."

Κανονικα δε θα τσιμπουσα αλλα θα τσιμπησω επειδη τα λογια αυτα που ειπες μου ειναι πολυ γνωριμα.

Αλλα δεν το δεχομαι το χαος πια ρε, ειναι πολυ πρωτογονο και αδιστακτο για τα γουστα μου. Ειναι σαν να παντρευεσαι εναν ελεφαντα.

Ειναι ομως κι αυτο ενα μεσο (οπως ειναι και η Ταξη) για την αποκτηση της Τεχνης με Τ κεφαλαιο.

Στον ποταμο της ζωης που λες, αλλοι χτιζουν φραγματα, αλλοι κολυμπανε αντιθετα στο ρευμα για να βρουν απο που ερχεται ρε παιδια τοσο νερο αμαν πια, αλλοι παρασυρονται μεχρι τον μεγαλο ωκεανο και δε γυριζουν ποτε κι αλλοι κανουν ορθοκολυμπο προσπαθωντας να καθυστερησουν λιγο τη φαση.

Εγω αραζω στην ακτη και φτιαχνω κατι εντελως γελοια παλατια απο αμμο. Με πισινες και τετοια.

Καμια φορα ντυνομαι καρχαριας και φρικαρω κατι παλικαρια αλλα στο τελος ολοι γελαμε.

Eagle out.

Bruno A. said...

Babe, I am wordless, for such a truth... You're someone who can see further. Like you said, you haven't achieved all that concernings out of view, but you're fighting for that and you can admit it.. I should clap my hands for you, but has you're far, I'll just aplaud virtualy.

Still looking forward to cash to send yo the letter, as my bosses are not paying me for three months... :(