Which is exactly what's happening right now. My lower
back gave up on me. Funny thing being, I did nothing to provoke it. But since I
have a medical history of damage and pain there I just shrugged and accepted my
fate. It's not like I can get hold of the pain and scribble on the envelope
'Unknown receiver. Return to sender', then put it back in the post box and get
rid of it.
Unless this has happened to you personally, you cannot
imagine what it's like to have it. From a functioning human you are transformed
to a person with special needs. You cannot move your legs normally. You cannot
use the bathroom because lowering yourself on the toilet is a very long and
delicate process. You can't even get up from bed. You have to try and find a
combination of using your arms, legs and body in a way that doesn't hurt.
I have spent the entire day alternatively giggling and
crying out. I have a very good relationship with insects and animals, so I feel
like a tortoise or a beetle that found itself flat on its back and cannot turn
around. I smell that intense odour of ointments and patches, something like
camphor and menthol and something else. Unsurprisingly, all that comes to mind
concerning my present sexual appeal is a combination of a cupboard and an invalid.
I have three patches on my lower back one after the other in parade. I am
thinking about arranging them in a triangle next time, to imitate the Bermuda
triangle and hopefully make the pain vanish. I wear a special medical belt,
walk with a limp and giggle non-stop as I remember Igor from Frankenstein
Junior saying "walk this way". I can easily be confused with someone
who was fucked to her near death last night. Yes, I could be the poster girl
for intense sexual activity at advanced age. Picking up or carrying weight is a
joke, like trying to pick up a safe using chopsticks. Weight increases pain
without warning and I drop things on the floor. Picking them up is another
joke.
Generally speaking, I wait patiently for the pain to
subside and go away. I can't do much about it. I wish I could be in bed
right now, but it's impossible. So I cringe my teeth, work and giggle. Don't
try this at home kids. Really, don't. I pity all those people who have this as
a chronic condition. :(
2 comments:
Ouch. I really hope you're not at a job like that. Recently, I had similar-sounding pain that lasted off and on for about 2 months. Diagnosis? Sciatica. I'm not old enough for this! I'm sure that's how you feel, too, but hopefully it will eventually vanish into some big black hole, never to return. Oh, and that other scent? Eucalyptus, maybe?
sweetie... My back pain is not that strong and have never gone that way. Hopefully you'll be well soon! And it is impossible to ask you not to lift any weight, as you work in the kiosk... Damned, really wishing that you get better soon... Really soon!
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