Friday, May 10, 2013

Like trying to teach cats synchronised swimming.

That’s what it feels like. Three heroes, three storylines, important events happening to all three of them, then two of them finally meeting. The writer needs to make sure the appropriate events have happened in the previous ‘days’ of the novel to all three before the two meet. Like being handed an open origami and instructed to fold it back in shape. I fold here, fold there, nothing falls in place at first. I think I finally got it right. Then I started writing here. I am not so sure I did get it right. If I discover yet another discontinuity, I’ll start cursing and re-arranging again. It won’t be nice.

The lower back is okay. Not so sure of my brain after three eclipses in a row.

There is a lot of sex in my book(s). Not so sure if this is good or not. There is no sex in the writer’s life, so it all has to balance out, I guess. And some of the sex in my book is not the kind of sex I’d like to have, thank you very much. My idea of sex has me still alive after finishing. Some of my heroes aren’t that wise.

A penpal told me to read the books of a writer specialising in vampires. Read an online excerpt. I found it mind-blowingly inane. It was like discussions between women happening at the hairdresser’s, but with vampires wearing kilts and getting married as their subject matter. I mean seriously WTF. 

Afterwards, I was suggested the books of another vampire writer by another penpal. Turns out I had read a longish story by her just a few weeks ago and it was something between a mediocre video game and the average ‘Vampire: the Masquerade’ session I used to play. Which in turn means, nothing I’d like to read more of any time soon. 

Then I was told to take a look to the site of another writer. It was like reading a teenager with a 500 word vocabulary describing having sex. It was all ‘wonderful’ and ‘tickling’. With boredom for me and orgasms for the heroine. Now go figure. 

It’s been a while since someone in the novel has been beaten black and blue. I think I am going to go and do just that. Since I can’t beat black and blue some people I have in mind, someone else will pay. :D


Noelle MacLeod said...

That may be one of my favorite things about being a writer - getting to do to people what I can't do in real life. :)

As for your penpals' suggestions, I find most vampire stories largely over-rated. I guess they can't all be Anne Rice.

Bruno Albuquerque said...

I couldn't really follow the links. You're possibly aware that I am in the mobile, what means that some places couldn't be opened. I trust your likes on vampires' issues. I really do.

It has been a while since I have written anything new. I have spending a while typing old poems (I handwrite them first) and I have some old stories I need to go through. Those same old stories that I started as a teen and have been wanted to go through for years. Meh! Seems that I will never ever be a good writer. At least when I painted, I used to get immediate relief...