Friday, December 07, 2012

How many ways of stupid? Let me count.

  • Trying to log in Paypal or your mail with Caps Lock on. Great success.
  • Struggling to log in Paypal without Caps Lock on but with the keyboard turned to Greek. Another great success.
  • Cursing like a constipated sailor with syphilis while attempting to log in Paypal without Caps Lock on and with the keyboard turned to English, on the day ebay decided that there is no reason why it shouldn't misbehave and refuse you entry. You can't win, can you? 
  •  Writing a whole paragraph with Caps Lock on without realising it, because you can't really type and you keep looking at the keyboard. Or just because you're busy and distracted and don't realise.
  • Same as before, but writing an English text with the keyboard turned to Greek. The statement I just wrote would look like this: Σαμε ασ βεφορε, βθτ ςριτινγ αν Ενγλιση τεχτ ςιτη τηε κευβοαρδ τθρνεδ το Γρεεκ.
  • Writing a whole paragraph of English text with the keyboard turned to Greek and through the random combinations of letters accidentally invoking Cthulhu that appears in all his glory and chomps you down. Then burps in non-Euclidean frequencies and the world collapses and is replaced by a shining gold turd. I dare say it would be an improvement.
  • Other variations have to do with internet searches with the keywords in Greek and busting your head why you can't find the (English) site. Until you look at what you have typed and looks like a chemical composition for a new psychotropic drug. Well, that's why you can't find the site, genius.
  • I am absentminded and easily distracted, more or less like the majority of people that live inside their heads. This should explain why on more than one cases I have shaken my chocolate milk after I have unscrewed it, splattering milk all over me. Or why I sometimes try to drink from bottles although I have not removed the protective foil from their opening. Or why in most cases that I squat ON the toilet of a restaurant or a place I don't trust to sit on, more often than not, I manage to pee on my right shoe.
  • I don't even have to refer to those cases that after I seal an envelope I realise the address I need to write is on an item INSIDE the envelope. Or I spend a quarter of an hour looking for something I had just next to me and it has vanished. In one case I even went to the kitchen and the bathroom of my house thinking I may have accidentally taken it with me to another room. Then I looked at my huge ginger cat, sleeping peacefully on my bed, and I picked him up. And there it was.
At some point I will think of more and write a second entry. :)

1 comment:

Bruno said...

eheheh, why do some of the situations, seem familiar to my own (re)actions? perhaps, as you said, similar behaviours to people who live inside their own heads. But from times to times, external things can get me distracted and willing to head shot people *ideas, ideas, ideas*

Eheheh, it would be so sweet if we could do everything we have ever wanted, thought or desired (like headshooting annoying people).

Always "stalking" you, hun!