Screaming in my sleep, keeping my thoughts to myself when I wake up.
Out of touch with my core, so I took a fairy
walk today.
There is so much beauty and so much ugliness in
the world.
I can see both.
I walked in a green place with spring flowers;
red poppies and pink anemones and yellow daisies and little purple wild flowers. I spoke
to trees, caressed their twigs and leaves. Thunder rumbled in the distance and
from time to time, drops of rain fell on my face like tears from the heavens.
I can see everything as a moment frozen in
time. As a snapshot of beauty. I see the vibrant colours, the different shapes,
the orgiastic multitude in form. Not two leaves on a tree are alike. Not even
human twins are identical, though their DNA is.
If I shift my perception, I spot decay in the
same effortless manner I perceive beauty; the yellowed leaf, the dead insect,
the dry branch. They are as real as their living brothers and sisters.
I see whole worlds in people's eyes. I see
their inner beauty shining. And at the same time, at the wrinkles of their very
smiles I read the finality of their deaths, the finite amount of time they have
at their disposal.
It will all be gone, I want to scream. It will
be gone. Stop fighting with each other, stop sweating the small stuff. Stop
killing the planet and bombing innocents and make your loved ones hate you. It’s
more fragile than you think, and it’s completely unique. It will all be gone. It
will not be forever. You are not forever, so be here. Don't live on borrowed
time, on plans for a future that may never come. Don't live inside your head
and play stupid head games. Be here with us. Be kind to each other. There is so
much pain already, so much death and fear. Don't add to it. Please don't.
Heaven and hell are here and now.
Choose one.
The god you choose is the god you deserve.
But even if I do scream, who will listen?
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