Showing posts with label Occult expertise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Occult expertise. Show all posts

Friday, October 21, 2016

Fallen angels and electricity bills

Last night I was doing my personal brand of research combined to divination. So there was this Archangel, whose name was Iblis, and he was also called Azazel by some, and Melek Taus by others. Some went as far as to call him Saitan. And he was made by pure flame, or by the illumination of God, or he wasn't an angelic being to begin with. And he was cast out as a scapegoat/ punished for his pride/ redeemed after crying enough to put out the fires of hell itself. And his symbols are the snake, the goat and the peacock. His element is fire. It is also said he was the leader of the angels who slept with mortal women creating thus the Nephilim; others claim he offered knowledge to man like Prometheus did, and others still that he mated with Lilith creating incubi and succubi. Confusing? Generally speaking, for every story there is another that renders it invalid or irrelevant. Usually the best way to judge is your heart. What feels right inside.

Creation myths are fun. You have the idiots that take them at face value and refuse Darwin's theories. What do you mean 'evolution'? God created Adam and Eve, duh. (Insert triple facepalm here.) You have those who analyse them in a language so obscure only others like them understand them, and they pat each other's backs for being so knowledgeable. You have conspiracy theorists, crooks who claim they are gurus, churches that cause mass suicides and so on and so forth. Literally every flavour of idiot under the sun. So choose wisely my pretty buttercups. Are you going to be the ones who take advantage of others, the ones who are being taken advantage of, or the ones standing at the side, watching chaos unfold? Your only power in this world is your choices.

And then there is Lucifer and Lilith. And there is also everyday life, divination and death. Attempts to save sick cats. Lack of money. The nagging certainty he'll be sick of me, or I'll be bored of him, and we've barely started to get to know each other. Ha ha. The mind is an amazing thing indeed. You have everything neatly stored in it, demons, angels and universes, shopping lists, stupid complexes and expectations, art, memories, anniversaries and deaths. Heavens and hells and enough tears to put out the fires of existence itself.

And then there's chocolate... When chocolate ceases to offer sweet oblivion it's time to die. :P

Monday, June 13, 2016

Burning down the Heavens II

I had a very long conversation with my best friend today. He's psychic, a holistic therapist and a specialist on behavioural disorders. He's also a quiet person with the patience of a saint. We are lucky to have known each other for more than 23 years, and he's one of the reasons I am still alive and relatively sane. 

Now, my friend and I share a lot, although we're also different. But one of the nicest things we can do together is divination. Why? Because our minds work in a similar way, we use similar methods and more than anything, we share the same core of information. When we close our eyes and connect with something, we connect with the same source. We share the same myths of creation, the same understanding. One could say, we're cut from the same cloth. Countless times his dreams and divinations and poems have verified my dreams and divinations and writings. Maybe the reason we love each other so much is sharing the same madness, each verifying the other's delusions, each embracing the other's illogical point of view. Maybe we're both sad fools than need each other's comfort to feel life is worth living. But it goes a lot deeper than that, and it's so accurate that it would have been scary if it wasn't exhilarating.

In my dreams I find answers that solve knots in your waking life. With your constant questions I discover the joy of giving you the right answer. And when I miss a piece of the puzzle or need help, you reach deep and provide me with it, because you can. You can do so many things, and through your constant feedback I discovered I too can. I can do countless things because you've showed me how, and in some cases because you've reminded me that I can. I can understand and heal and forgive and give advice and grow a thick skin, and know when to keep my silence. I can give you pieces of myths before any myth was created, because you too can take sneak peeks at the time Creation was still timeless. I can connect with the Heart without batting an eyelid, in the same way you can download answers without any instrument of divination. I can evolve and become a different person and ignore all odds, because the only real superpower we possess is the power of change. I choose to become what I want and not what my past dictated; you chose to overcome the past and ignore all odds and be who you are. And look at us now.

As the path becomes clearer by the day, and the stress is replaced by quiet inside, I look at the night sky and smile. The stars are always above, watching us both, and you and I know so many things no-one else does. We know what exists in no book, internet site or newsflash. We're the lunatic chroniclers of a world drowning in pain, blood and greed, and we can still discover pieces of ancient magic in the smallest thing. We rekindle that magic with our breaths and our fingers, our poems and writings, our dumb jokes, our friendships, our four hour long phone-calls, our odd conversations. We fight the good battle, the best fucking battle; the lost battle of idealists in a world brimming with mental cancer, violence and injustice. People can die but ideas are hard motherfuckers, the stuff from which not legends, but myths of Creation were made. We carry the banners of ideals in the battlefield of everyday life, through rivers of sorrow and disappointment. We don't carry them only when it is convenient. We keep carrying them even when our knees tremble and our backs bleed from being constantly stabbed and each breath is torture, when reality spits us in the face, when friends and lovers betray us for those very ideals, when death takes from us what little life has left us with. We carry them through madness and loneliness and we carry them through deserts and mountains. I only have one wish; that when my time comes, I'll be buried wrapped in those glorious banners. May the Heart make it so.

We know so much, you and I. And we'll burn down the Heavens. We'll bring down immortals and open holes in the fabric of this sad, rigged reality to let the Light shine through. There is nothing we can't do, nothing we can't face. We've proved it a thousand times and we'll do it a thousand more if we have to. There is nothing else to do, no other way. We'll pull through, move on, get it done.

I love you. Sleep tight. Tomorrow is another day, another struggle, but for now, sleep tight.
May the three Ladies watch over you. I'll make sure they will.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Burning down the Heavens

Life is degrees of hard and absurd. Maybe it’s the planets. I can rephrase a famous poet’s last words and say I had a lover’s quarrel with God, not the world. 

These aren’t good days. These are days to stay indoors and avoid all electrical appliances. Psst. Wear a helmet too, just to be sure.

Life is also degrees of unfair, and the only actual source of solace and comfort are friends. You can pray all you want, light all the candles that you want, but there will be no answer. Or maybe I am persona non-grata, and the rest of you are fine with the Almighty Asshole, so don’t listen to me. Pray on. See if He gives a fuck.

I scratch my head as I am considering ways of burning down the heavens. So far I’ve disregarded three plans and I am looking for possible flaws in a fourth.

I am also considering having more tattoos and blowing my brains out, but those are just silly thoughts, the exasperation of the slave that has been a punching bag, a toilet girl, and ashtray and a mule for her entire life. Oh, did I mention free therapist/ healer as well? Write that down under everything else. Now look at the title, it has my name, my photo, and the 'mysterious' inscription ‘idiot-sucker-moron’ next to it. In impressive big red letters. With the additional information/clarification “desperate to please” noted just under that. What a CV.

I valiantly offer my middle finger and piss on the shadow of every power hungry pantheon of the planet. I am so sick of you, you fucking pushers, pimps and bullies of human despair. I shit on you. I defy you. I deny you. I’ll make you pay, Spider Jerusalem style. I swear I will, even if it takes away everything I have. I haven’t got much left to begin with, since you took it all away. Sanity isn’t compatible with the kind of life I am left with.

I refuse to live here. I want to pack my stuff and leave, go away to some plane that isn’t governed by deities with a small dick and a big opinion on themselves and their equally small-minded Renfield-like followers. Those sad idiots do the dirty work for free, they are so narrow-minded and easy to control that they create a living hell in a place that was supposed to be neutral ground aspiring to heaven. And I see these humans everywhere. Everywhere. They are the threshold keepers, always knowing better and deciding whether you are to be allowed in the ‘elite’ or not. They are the priests, or the defenders of normality in various positions, telling you what is normal and what isn’t natural and God looks down upon you and will burn you for it. They are politicians, licking the asses of each other and the asses of multinational corporations and banks and stepping on the backs of everyone else. They are even the rude person who steals your place in a queue, the neighbour that minds your business instead of theirs, the parent who raised you to be unhappy for the rest of your life.

By the curses of my grandmother, I fart in their weddings and shit on their properly mowed grass. They can go suck my fuck.

I want an exploding vagina. I want big fucking guns and ammunition. I want lethal boobs. I want to rid humanity of a few dozen deities who drink the blood of the innocents and revel in our pain and entrapment. I want to squash these bloated leeches who are feasting on our dreams, our happiness and our good fortune. I want to stomp and dance on their corpses. I want to find a way to bring down the veil and release the planet of this tyranny. First and foremost I want to release myself from their tyranny. 

They say if you want something, really want something, you might get it. I won’t leave this to chance. I'll work towards it. We’ll see. You’ll see. You have been warned.

Sunday, December 02, 2012

Occult books: an example why as a rule I don't read them.

 The following extracts are from Kenneth Grant, from the book 'Nightside of Eden'.

..."The number of Kia, 31, is also that of AL, the key of The book of the Law, and in this sense Kia may be said to be the eye of Nuit, the Ain, which is the 'other' or 'secret' eye, (i.e. the vulva), typified by the anus of Set."

Which 'AL' are we talking about? Weird Al Yankovic? Remind me again why am I reading about the anus of Set at this time of the night and I will be grateful. Also, while you're at it bring me an ice-cream because all this Tree of Life talk always gives me the munchies.

"The 23rd kala is under the dominion of Malkunofat who lies in the depth of the watery abyss."

I mean no surprises there, it's been raining on and off for a week, watery abyss is but a mere understatement of the situation. Plus fat creatures generally fare better in water. Like whales and my aunt Eustacia. Besides, if I don't find a place to pee soon, the watery abyss will be augmented. Seriously. But to be honest with you, I pity the 23rd koala. What happens if Malkunofat accidentally trips and squashes the poor fucker?

"He may be aroused by a shrill stridulation of his name in the key of 'G' sharp (upper register)."

Now, why would I want to do that? I mean we have just started getting to know each other and all. Plus that stridulation thingie sounds suspiciously like strangulation, only applied to strings. I wonder what it means. Sounds very interesting. No honey, no stridulation tonight, I have a headache. Don't get aroused on my behalf.
v. strid·u·lat·ed, strid·u·lat·ing, strid·u·lates
To produce a shrill grating, chirping, or hissing sound by rubbing body parts together, as certain insects do.
To produce by rubbing body parts together: "The crickets stridulated their everlasting monotonous meaningful note" (John Updike).

See? Rubbing together body parts. I was certain he was referring to sex somehow.

Here is an example of a writer that beats my brain black and blue through his writing but at least I understand what he wanted to say:

"When you move into the level of dream consciousness, all the laws of logic change. There, although you think you are seeing something that is not you, it is actually you that you are seeing, because the dream is simply a manifestation of your own will and energy – you created the dream and yet you are surprised by it. So the duality there is illusory. There, subject and object, though apparently separate, are the same."

"The realms of the Gods and Demons – heaven, purgatory, hell – are of the substance of dream. Myth, in this view, is the dream of the world. If we accept gods as objective realities, then they are the counterpart of your dream – this is a very important point – dream and myth are of the same logic … and since the subject and the object seem to be separate but are not separate in the dream, so the god that seems to be outside you in myth (or religion, if you prefer) is not different from you. You and your god are one … All the heavens and gods are within you and are identical with aspects of your own consciousness on the dream level."

Joseph Campbell, Myths of Light, p.70

Here is a more demanding extract by the same author:

"[T]he idea of survival after death is about conterminous with the human species; so also that of the sacred area (sanctuary), that of the efficacy of ritual, of ceremonial decorations, sacrifice, and of magic, that of supernal agencies, that of a transcendental yet ubiquitously immanent sacred power (mana, wakonda, sakti, etc.), that of a relationship between dream and the mythological realm, that of initiation, that of the initiate (shaman, priest, seer, etc.), and so on, for pages. No amount of learned hair-splitting about the differences between Egyptian, Aztec, Hottentot, and Cherokee monster-killers can obscure the fact that the primary problem here is not historical or ethnological but psychological – even biological; that is to say, antecedent to the phenomenology of the culture styles ..."

- Joseph Campbell, The Flight of the Wild Gander, p. 50

Can you tell the difference? I can.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Judgement Day

And then comes one day that you want to turn Angel Safari into a national pastime. Hunt the fuckers. Raid the Elysian fields or aetheric levels or whatever place they live in, sleep and tan their gorgeous bodies while gracefully sipping mojitos or whatever shit they drink. Pluck their feathers out with pliers. Take a plane and fly over them while they snore peacefully and throw them anvils and safes to flatten them in their sleep. Paint them with black nail polish. Chase them with a flame thrower. Throw them big cactuses with the entire clay pot attached while they merrily chase each other in the ever green fields of the paradise. Next time I am introduced to one of those lazy motherfuckers, I will kung fu their brains out of their skulls. Yeah right, why EVEN TRY to bother with the earthly shit? Oh noooooo, THEY are TOO IMPORTANT to bother. It doesn't matter that this plane of existence has turned into a demo version of hell. Oh nooo, it is not their fault, you see there is this thing called FREE WILL, and since that thing exists, well, THEY CAN'T do anything, it is not their RESPONSIBILITY. You see, there are RULES.

I will rule your ass out of existence you shitstained pieces of feathered ego, you Pharisees of heavens! You bloody scum! Handing over your powers to the exactly wrong kind of humans without caring as long as you will not bother with us lowly mortals, with those oh-so-unimportant mortal affairs. You see we're flesh and blood, too disgusting for your divine hands and standards. When you fucked mortal women they were good enough. Now there is no fucking involved so you can't really bother with the rest of us, can you? Oh no. Too much work and a very dirty job. Too much trouble. A whole fucking planet turned into purgatory and billiors of souls screaming in misery and despair every single day of their lives and you can't move a finger to help. No no no. You are safe where you are. Why bother?

You miserable, arrogant, pretentious pieces of crap. You fucking hypocrites. YOU LOWLY, COWARDLY SCUM. If you cared, really cared, if you indeed served the Creator you claim you serve you'd be too ashamed to show your fucking faces. The brave ones of you have taken the dive in flesh and live amongst the mortals, suffering just like any other human. Being oppressed, victimised, raped, scorned and used like asswipes by mortals and immortals alike. Behold the wonder of existence and what it has turned into. I hope you are proud of yourselves. This is your responsibility as much as anyone else's. When you see a crime committed and you do nothing to stop it, you are as much a criminal as the one commiting it. Hail to the entire angelic race! As above so below; as below, so above. Go fuck yourselves and see if you multiply. Douchebags!

PS I swear, the next forty something American lady/healer with the serene, all knowing smile and the catchy New Age vocabulary I come across in the net, "channelling messages" from this or that or the other Archangel or Teacher or entity, I'll track her down and fuck her up the ass until she recites the entire Greek alphabet backwards.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


There is nothing wrong with chaos. Chaos is a natural state of things. Much more natural than the fake, strict order we strive to enforce. If we just left chaos alone to do its job, perhaps we would comprehend how open it is to new realities/actualities and how perfect in its apparent lack of order. But people fear that which they cannot control or understand.

I am pretty much a chaotic disciplinarian, if that makes sense. I fight tooth and claw to let go of control, often with comic results. Control what? Myself, my environment, others? What for? To feel safe? The only certainty is change. The only certainty is death, the transmutation of energy in its purest form, the thing you can bet your ass will happen. All the rest are possibilities, actualities waiting to be shaped. Why not ride the wave of reality and let it take you? If you let it, you might discover it unerringly takes you where your soul needed to be all along.

So many people bother with the occult because they want to satisfy their silly little mind games and power games. They gather knowledge for the sake of knowledge and learn by heart the three million names of god and the correspondences of all the planets with all the whatever, the secret names of stringless beans of another dimension. They throw in physics, math, ritualistic sacrifices, their bed sheets as garments, their period and various chemicals of dubious nature. They fuck, or they don't fuck, or yell their guts out to make their chakra vibrate. They invoke spirits, dissect frogs, bleed their eyes out over birth charts, eat nothing or their own shit or someone else's shit, imported directly from the Himalayas. OK, if that does it for you, I suppose my opinion is irrelevant, but can I ask you one persistent question? Just one? Why? Why do you go through all this trouble since you haven't done any actual work on your relationship with yourself? How can you possibly be sailing to discover the miracles of faraway lands and kill their monsters when you have your own house dirty, undiscovered and in ruins? When monsters lurk under your bed at night and you have no fucking dignity to admit to yourself you are going through all this trouble to feel powerful- and therefore safe? You can be master of the fucking universe for all I care, but PLEASE, for the love of whatever you hold sacred, admit to yourself you are as afraid now as you were when you started out on your journey. Don't admit it to me. Don't even say it out loud. Grow a fucking will and leave the spirit manipulation for later on. Learn not to take everything personally, learn to trust in yourself, stay out of other people's way and then bother with love spells. Try to grow some personality and break your idiotic patterns and then learn to grow homunculi, or inflict curses. First be human and we'll see about superhuman...

I am not saying I have accomplished all these things myself. I have not. But at least I am not feigning ignorance; I know what my problem is and don't attribute it to outside forces, curses and opponents. The only target I have and the only thing I'm working on is myself. The outside will inevitably follow.

My beast is beautiful, my beast is gorgeous. And it loves me to its last breath...