Let's talk about fashion

More specifically, let's talk about things I hate. Since bad fashion and bad taste make me suffer, I decided to give you a glimpse inside my wonderfully sarcastic mind. I am sick with Covid and feel extra bitchy these days, so there you are. You're welcome.

The wet cement hair look:

Picture source is here.

Came across this picture, and I will not say a word on anything except the hair. So, the hair. This magnificent hairstyle is very simple to achieve; judging by the colour, first you pour mustard or diarrhea on your head. Then you wait for it to dry a little before styling it in that dashing "my hair is trying to run away from my head and I had to take measures" pinnacle of achievement. 

The nude lipstick (as seen in the pic above):

Ladies, your lips are not supposed to be the same colour as your nose, unless you are dead, or on the way there due to severe anemia. The human mouth is usually darker than the rest of the face. Trying to make it disappear is not the goal. You want to use make-up to look more alive, healthy and attractive. You won't achieve that with a lipstick several tones lighter than your natural lip colour. I understand intense red may not be your thing, but tuberculosis brown or cadaver beige is not your thing either, believe me. In fact it's nobody's thing. The only exceptions to this are: Halloween make-up, zombie make-up, a significant other who's a necrophiliac, OR having dark brown or black skin. In that case other rules apply, and beige or even white lipstick can look sensational. And please oh please, do not use a dark pencil to define your lips and a visibly lighter hue on the inside. Only professional clowns do that. Are you a clown? I didn't think so.

The cheap green

This shade of green always looks cheap and tacky. It also doesn't look good on anyone except maybe foodball players, who get paid millions to wear sponsored shit, so colour choice is the least of their worries. I'd give it a wide berth. It screams last discounted items and misery. It is particularly ugly in shoes.

Stiletto nails 

 

I don't know which hellish hole this style crawled out of, but it needs to return there and die asap, and failing that, be killed by fire. It's one of the most unpleasant and anti-erotic trends I have seen. There is a reason old ugly vampires are portrayed with such nails in horror movies. I am an avid horror fan; however, horror is not the feeling you want to inspire when you caress a person. And how on earth do you manage not to put your eyes out by accident in your sleep? Do you sleep with oven mittens on?

Animal print anything

How many times have you seen members of the old European aristocracy, or politicians, or bankers wearing animal print anything? Do you really think it's because they haven't discovered it yet? (Spoiler: No, that's not the reason.)

 

I think that's enough for today, as I feel exhausted. Needless to say, opinions are my own. Feel free to disagree and wear whatever you like, however it works for you. Life is too small for uniformity.  

 

(As per usual, if you'd like to support this grumpy old cat, please buy her a coffee.)