Sometimes, late at night, the urge strikes me to go for a
walk. I take my MP3 and off I go, letting my feet guide me. The place I live is
close to a mount and a forest of sorts, but I walk the streets. They are a
maze.
I walk quietly, or I might go dancing and singing if the
song is inspiring and the mood is right. Most of the time I am what I strive to
be in real life too: an observer. I walk by and steal glimpses of the lives of
other people. I see their gardens. I stop and smell their flowers, or touch
their trees. When a room has the light on, I stop and observe the house. I see
what kind of feedback I get. Would I like to live there? I often wonder what I
would be like if I had grown in that house and had been in the company of different
people. Would I be different? Then I count the lighted windows, estimating how
many people are not sleeping, much like I am not. Are they expecting something?
Are they insomniacs? Perhaps they are guardians, even without knowing. Perhaps
they are suffering, or making love, or staying up till late watching this or
the other film. Or maybe they are tormented by others, or tormenting themselves
or others. Are they happy? Are they sad? Do they realise time flies? Do they
strive for the best they can, or they hold back, afraid of fate, others,
themselves? Do they live at all?
I don’t envy the lives of others. I know I will never get
to live their lives and don’t want that to begin with. It’s me I am always
talking to/with. Through my eyes and personality I interpret reality and am
content being myself. Yet there are times I wonder, how many of these people
will come to be meaningful to me, how many will be indifferent or even enemies,
how many of them will be my lovers, which one (if any) will be the one to kill
me, though ill intent or otherwise. Does it matter? No, it doesn’t. Those are
just questions to pass time. What does matter is that time passes.
Do you ever see me passing by? Do you realise I am
talking to your flowers or myself? Do you think me crazy? Do you crane your
neck trying to catch a glimpse of the glorious night sky which envelopes the
whole planet? Do you realise how tiny you, me, we all are, how easily a tragedy
can take place, stripping you bare from everything you consider familiar, from
your security and preconceived notions of life? Do you tell to those people
that matter to you how you feel about them? Do you spend a few minutes every
day with the one you love, be it a parent, companion, child, pet, or craft? Do
you let them know you are there? Or do you just let time pass, thinking about
bills and wages and pussy and dick? Do you really care? Do you see? Not just
look, but see?
Open your eyes
The night sky is clear tonight and the stars are a sight
to behold
The night is sweet, and mostly quiet, and smells of
flowers and spring
The earth awakens
Every moment, with every breath you take you change, you
become a different person, a different version of yourself
Every moment, with every breath you take, millions of
cells in your body die and new are created and your consciousness is begging
you to make that one step that separates thought from action
Open your eyes. Wake up from your coma.
This is your life, right here, right now. This is your
life, so you might as well live it.
Open your eyes.
You might just see me passing by.
Goodnight.
