Talking about bagpipes... I don't know what kind of wrong food combination I've made today, but the results are spectacular, to say the least. Watching people's faces around you blistering, melting and falling off because of a single fart can only be described as spectacular, right? Then again, girls are not supposed to be capable of farting. Yeah, right. I bet that when I meet the man of my dreams he won't believe that someone as sweet and endearing as I am is capable of producing such nasty results by the simple procedure of processing food. Well guess again- this woman is an exception. She hides a nuclear waste unit inside her ass to match the brothel inside her head. Even worse, if he has the romantic idea to sleep by my side at nighttime, he's as good as dead. I mean, save for the fact I toss and kick like I'm struggling against the armies of Darth Vader, what about my food byproducts? I do have an idea what I'm capable of when I'm awake and have some control over what's going on (or should I say, what comes out?). I'm sure that when I finally fall asleep and let go of control fully, I am transformed into a one (wo)man orchestra, with my ass performing all kinds of sounds, from strings to percussion. I'm serious. Imagine that in the morning, the first thing I do when I wake up after a particularly productive night is pick up my cat that sleeps next to me and shake him, to make sure he's still alive. If I do the same to that future boyfriend, his head will probably come off, together with the arms from their sockets.
[This one is for Danie- she knows how to make me smile.]
5 comments:
hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know how to make us smile too!!! And believe me sometimes you are the only one capable enough...
I enjoy your funny posts a lot.
Huge Kisses
Greg
Dear,
I do exect nothing more of a perfect woman like you!
Yeah, you're right, most men does not expect a girl is capable of farting or even burping, but look at the new: woman have an ass too! and it REALLY works, not just for skirts or mini-skirts exhibtions, but to shit their brains off or to fart!!
Always loving your funny posts, which make me smile, when I nevr find a light in the end of the tunnel!
I just noticed your address on a FB - was curious enough to go and have a look.
I'm kinda impressed by that piece - I definitely love your "audacity" (does that word exist? Never mind: now it does!).
I'll come back to read the rest...
Ludicrous Climax of the D.
"Never mind what people think of you - only mind if they forget you."
You are welcome and I am glad you enjoy the blog. Forgive me for not leaving comments and the like, I hardly have time for writing my own posts. Thank you for your kind words!
That was hilarious! XD
However, I do have a few pieces of advice for the situation to improve:
a) stop eating some of the stuff I've known you to be eating (you may even have an allergy you're not aware about),
b) instead of drinking water/juice with your meal, drink it half an hour before the meal or 2 hours after,
c) anti na tsimpologas, have a proper meal or healthy snack every 3-4 hours.
Try to follow that for a month, to see if there's any improvement with the bowel activity. ;)
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