Insomnia conspirators

Things that can and will keep me awake at night, usually occurring in a row, and just as I am about to fall asleep.

Outside factors:

• Crying baby
• Mosquito(es)
• Cat fight
• Dog barking
• Car alarm
• Passing drunks screaming their heads off/ singing
• Motorbikes screeching
• Loud noises due to wind
• A gig at the square close to my house
• My cats throwing down a mountain of metallic objects like pots and pans
•  Idiotic companies calling early in the morning/ SMSing in the middle of the night 
• Cat in the room scratching on the door to be let out
• Sheet wrinkle at exactly the wrong place (strategically placed for maximum discomfort)
• An exceptional book (but that kind of wakefulness is voluntary)

Factors related to me

• Coughing because of my dust allergy 
• Needing to pee (usually five times in a row)
• Foot twitching violently (for some reason I don't understand, my foot has dance aspirations, especially in the a.m.)
• Being horny
• Sudden stomachache
• Stress over having to wake up early/ run errands
• Just because 

Possible solutions that take care of all the factors, except for book reading: BOMB THE PLANET AND SLEEP FOREVER AND EVER IN PERFECT PEACE...
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