My left shoulder is stiff and sore, and has been so for
the past two days. Today was the worst. Every time I tried to move it or turn
my head, I was getting muscular spasms that made me groan. I got the stiff shoulder after a thorough
house cleansing. Should I be scared of what kind of old energies I shifted? :) Counterpain ointment will heal all ills and drive the mosquitoes away as a bonus. The smell would drive me, too, out of the room, if I wasn't firmly attached to the shoulder I apply it on.
Last night I was sending out CVs again. It is a ‘delightful’ pastime. I was reading the ad titles trying to decipher
whether the job is something worth applying to/ I have the necessary knowledge
to do it. Many ads have the word ‘administrator’ in the title. Recruitment
administrator, Payroll Administrator, Sales Support Administrator, Order Processing
Administrator, Senior Administrator, Compliance Administrator… From a point
onwards I started reading out loud and replacing words. Cunt Administrator,
Bollocks administrator, Dick Administrator, Butt Administrator, Boob
Administrator, Pube Administrator. It was 2 in the a.m., and I realised I was reciting a litany of anatomical parts and swearwords and sticking the word ‘administrator’
after every single one of them. I started laughing with the absurdity of it,
and the absurdity of looking for a job for seven months and not finding one, and
the stupidity of human existence and the mess we have made out of everything.
Society, money, politics, war, it’s all a gigantic bollocks of a mess, and I
honestly wonder why I bother. Right now the European Union is tearing my
country apart, turning it to shreds and bloody bits and ashes, and I can do
absolutely nothing to stop it. I can’t even help myself. I know, that’s not what the media tell you. The
media also don’t say anything about the thousands of people who have committed
suicide because of their debts, the hospitals who have no medicine, the
families who have no electricity, the 60% unemployment in people under 30, the
30.000 jobs and companies who have gone out of business, the fact we are expected
to pass a whole month with a 400 euro wage while the expenses are at least
double. Don’t listen to the media. They lie.
I wish I could work some serious black magick and execute
a few of the present European leaders. I wouldn’t take credit. I’d do it for
the heck of it, because someone needs to do it. For the despair and misery of millions worldwide
while fat, bloated leeches of leaders shake their finger and accuse us we’re
not trying hard enough. For the waves of desperate refugees drowning in the
Mediterranean with the ‘help’ of coastal police, that sinks their boats. For the
guy who is beaten to his death in an alley because he had the bad luck to be
born with the wrong skin colour. For the teenage whore with the dead eyes whose
pimp is forcing her to sleep with twenty people every night, and whose entire
life was one foster home after another, a responsibility no-one wanted. For the
small girl who is held down by others while someone severs her clitoris
with a piece of broken glass. For the
dog they take when it’s a cute puppy and then abandon like trash. For every
single one of you, with a breath and a conscience, whose names I don’t know,
whose tears water this earth non-stop, I’d kill them. Fuck karma. Fuck
consequences. I don’t care. If they don’t care, neither should I. They are not
human anyway. They are scum. They are bipedal leeches who rule and destroy the lives of
millions. Someone needs to squash those disgusting creatures, step on them and
then scrape off the remains and throw them away, or even better, burn them in a
bonfire.
Lately a ‘friend’ of mine comes to mind, and some things
she said to me. Instead for apologising for being the scheming, shit-hearted,
petty, envious cunt that she is, she had the nerve to accuse me on top. I guess
she is lucky I have a good hold on my dark side. If I didn’t, by the time they
got her off my hands she’s need full facial reconstruction.
Do you hear me, you fucking cunt? I am out for your
blood. No more freebies. You and the rest of your side, you’re going to hear
from me very soon. You’ve gotten away with too much for too long. Time to pay
the bill. It’s going to hurt. I am going to fuck you to the moon and back. I
hope you enjoy stargazing while a porn movie is happening to your arse.
On that happy note, I advice you all to watch Sense8. It’s
an excellent series. Makes you feel human and alive.
Off to bed.
